Destiny or Desire
by Maea
Summary: Just like the rest of the fic writers, this story involves what takes place (directly) after Destiny. A soon to be multi-part fic... Please REVIEW (I'm shameless, i know!)
1. Determination of True Love

Title: Destiny or Desire: Prologue 

Author: Maea MacDermod

Email: maeve_aislinn@yahoo.com; feedback is like a drug to me! Please, feed the monkey!

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone… not even myself!! Please don't sue me…

Spoilers: Everything before and including Destiny is fair game. 

Summary: Just like the rest of the fic writers, this story involves what takes place (directly) after Destiny.

Category: Throughout the series, all couples will be addressed. This part involves some Max/Liz & Max/Tess.

Author's Notes: As I write them, this will be a multi-part series fic involving what happens to everyone after the season finale. 

****

Destiny or Desire: Prologue

*****

"Our destiny changes with our thought; we shall become what we wish to become, do what we wish to do, when our habitual thought corresponds with our desire." 

~Orison Swett Marden

****

She ran. 

She ran like it was the only thing that she could do. She ran like her life depended on it. She ran blindly through the thick desert underbrush, away from everything… not caring that Max drove her out there… not caring that she had no way to get home.

Home.

She didn't ever want to go home again because it meant nothing to her now. When Max asked the question earlier if any of them could bear never to see home again, she said no… but that was before. Before she knew of his destiny. Before Max's destiny no longer included her.

Max.

It all means nothing without him. Her life means nothing without him… without him, she wouldn't even be here.

She ran until her lungs burned and her chest felt as if it would explode. She ran until she could run no more. But most of all, she ran until she knew that he could no longer 'feel' her. That's when she collapsed… and the crying began.

***

Back in the pod chamber, Max sat on the ground in obvious despair. He turned to his sister. 

"Iz, call Alex."

A panicked expression crossed the taller of the blonde alien's face. "Max? I wouldn't know what to—"

"Tell him that Liz…" his voice choked on her name, "…Liz is out there." The others looked at him strangely. "We drove her out here. She has no way to get back… not to mention that she ran *away* from the Jeep. He and Maria have to come and take her home."

"How will they find her, Max. There's a whole lot of desert out there."

"I know where she is. I'll always know."

Isabel nodded in understanding, got the directions from Max and left the large cavern to make the call. The others sat in silence until she returned to their circle. 

"They're on the way to get her."

"Did you tell them anything else?" Michael asked.

"No. I don't know what to say to him, so I told him that we'd talk once we came back to town."

"It's just the four of us now. You have to let those humans go… like Max did. Liz would only be in our way," Tess explained.

Max jumped up, dragging Tess to her feet, his dark eyes flashing in anger. "The only one getting in our way is you, Tess. I belong with Liz… I choose to be with her, not you."

Tess's self-assured demeanor crumbled, but Max continued to talk with a fire in his voice. "Everything we," he motioned to Michael and Isabel, "know about ourselves we know because of what I have with Liz. She's special… she was chosen to receive that information for a reason."

She looked up, her face somber, looking as though she were a small child being scolded by a parent, then her expression turned defiant. "You promised me eternity, Max." Tess cried through clenched teeth, as her fists pounded angrily on his chest.

He took a step back, away from her assault. "I promised you nothing."

"I don't understand why I have all the memories of our past life and you have none. I mean nothing to you?"

"Liz is everything to me. Being with her means everything."

"If you could only see my thoughts—my memories. Then you would understand. I can show you the truth." 

Before he could respond, Tess moved in close and touched his face, instantly forging a connection between them.

An image flashed in front of their eyes… an image of two creatures—much like how Nasedo appeared when they were healing him—leaning close to each other, talking without using speech. After a moment, the two alien's appearances shifted to reveal the familiar human forms of Max and Tess.

Max caressed his wife's face tenderly. "Taras, I shall love you for all eternity."

"That I know, Adis… but I'm still afraid."

"No matter what happens in all this, my love, we shall always be together. The scientists have their orders… this war will not ever destroy the love I have for you. We will live on forever."

"Chera cote l'nine, Adis. I love you."

In the cave, Max pulled sharply away from Tess, leaving them both breathless. "I know what you're doing," he gasped, furious, "and it's not going to work on me this time. 'Chera cote l'nine'… cherry coke with lime. You said that to me. That's what started the first visions."

"What are you talking about? I just wanted you to see—"

"You want me to see only what you want me to see… I know it's your ability. I belong with Liz… Liz is who I love… Liz is who I'm going to be with. Without her, we would know nothing. How could she see things in my soul that I couldn't even see?"

Tess looked away, "You did it. You changed her."

"What?" the others asked, simultaneously.

"Even Liz knew it. She realized what you had done to her, and she told Nasedo. I don't know if it was the day that you healed her, or when you let the images of your mind flood back into her, but you changed her. You turned her into someone who could easily receive the flashes. You weren't supposed to know any of what you know now until I came to Roswell, until I was with you. *I* was supposed to show you those things, not her, but I never got the chance. You changed her… into me."

Isabel and Michael could only watch dumbfounded as the two argued between themselves.

Finally Tess sat down, wiping the tears from her eyes. "But it's all okay now. There is more to learn and I will be here to show you. This is the way that it was meant to be, I know you must feel it. All of you must feel it. It's for the best that you let her go. You'll see that soon."

"I let her go for now, but I'll get her back."

And the look of determination on his face told the others that he meant it.


	2. The Truth Shall Set You Free

Title: Destiny or Desire: Part One 

Author: Maea MacDermod

Email: maeve_aislinn@yahoo.com; feedback is like a drug to me! Please, feed the monkey!

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone… not even myself!! Please don't sue me…

Spoilers: Everything before and including Destiny is fair game. 

Summary: Just like the rest of the fic writers, this story involves what takes place (directly) after Destiny.

Category: Throughout the series, all couples will be addressed. This part involves Michael/Maria.

Author's Notes: As I write them, this will be a multi-part series fic involving what happens to everyone after the season finale. 

****

Destiny or Desire: Part One

*****

"Our destiny changes with our thought; we shall become what we wish to become, do what we wish to do, when our habitual thought corresponds with our desire." 

~Orison Swett Marden

****

"Liz!? Liz… can you hear me?" Alex called through the impending darkness. "Liz!"

A few feet away from him, Maria called out the same frantic plea. "Liz! Come on… it's getting late, and I'm getting scared. Max said you were around here somewhere! LIZ!"

In the dusk, two flashlight beams crossed as the lone search party of DeLuca and Whitman met.

"Maybe he was wrong. Maybe she found a way home," Maria said in frustration.

"No way—Iz said she's out here. Besides, Valenti would have called us if she made it home. Try calling her cell again. I really think I heard it last time."

"Yeah… that's what you said the last three times. I mean, we don't even know if she has her phone with her. For all we know, she left it in my car on the way to Gallinas. Okay, so Max *says* she's out here. Well, why isn't he with us in the dark searching for her?"

"Isabel said that Liz was upset when she ran off. And—"

"—Who else other than Max Evans can make Liz that upset. I see your point. My God! You don't think they found out their destiny, do you?"

Alex smacked another mosquito off his arm, "I don't know," he mumbled to Maria.

"It make sense… why Liz ran, why Max didn't follow, why Isabel didn't answer your questions."

"We'll never know unless we find her, then. Try the phone."

Maria dialed her best friend's number and they waited. Nothing. Then after a moment, a faint ringing was heard in the distance.

"It's her!" The two sped off into the direction of the noise, stumbling through the underbrush, flashlights bobbing in the night. Suddenly Maria stopped short.

"Oh my God—Liz!"

Alex caught up with her a second later and was left speechless. In the faint glow of the flashlight, they saw Liz. She was laying on the cold ground in a tight fetal position. Her dirt-covered face was streaked with dried tears, and her eyes were open and staring.

"Liz?" Maria asked softly, kneeling next to the prone girl. "Liz, please… I'm really afraid now. Talk to me."

The brunette blinked and reached out to Maria, who grabbed it, pulling Liz's head into her lap. Liz started to cry again.

"Maria…" she sobbed, unable to choke anything else out past the ragged cries.

"Shhh… it's okay. Alex and I are here… we're all going to be all right."

Alex sat down next to the two girls and stroked Liz's hair softly. "We're here, Liz… we'll always be here."

***

Max sat outside the pod chamber on a large boulder, staring off into the distance.

"Isabel and Tess went back to town an hour ago," Michael said, coming up behind his leader. "How long are you going to wait?"

"They just found her. She's safe."

"She's not your concern anymore, Max."

Max threw a rock into the darkness. "You're wrong. She'll always be my concern. I love her, Michael. That's nothing I can just cast aside. Don't you feel that way about Maria?"

Michael hesitated. "No."

"Liar."

The spiky haired alien chuckled. "You're right, I'm lying."

"You told me that you would do anything to make Maria happy… to protect her from harm."

"Don't you see… that's what I'm doing! Knowing us is dangerous--*I'm* dangerous. Just look at what happened to Kyle." Michael paced a few steps away, then turned back to his friend. "I'm a killer, Max. I'm no better than Pierce."

"Pierce killed to kill. You killed to protect. He would have killed us all—you, me, Valenti, and given the chance, Maria. You saved us. As my second in command, it's your job to protect."

"I thought that you didn't believe in that destiny crap."

"That's not destiny, it's duty." Michael looked on, waiting for Max to explain, so he took a deep breath and continued. "Who we are… what we are, can't be changed. I was a leader… before… and you, you were my 'Number One', for a bad Star Trek reference. That's what we were then, that's how we were engineered now. It's your responsibility to make sure that no harm comes to me, or the others. I think that's why you killed Pierce—not because you wanted him dead, but because it's your duty to protect us, at all costs.

"That's duty, Michael. Destiny is so different than that. It's our duty to learn about ourselves, fight against the evil aliens here, and eventually try to save our own planet. When Tess talks about destiny, she always says that we were meant to be together… in a way she's right. We're meant to be together—all of us—to fulfill our duty, to save our people, but I'm not going to allow myself to be told who I should love, who I should choose to be with, based on that book, on that past. 

"I have the same essence as that alien 'Adis' but I have a different body, a different brain, and a different heart. This heart belongs to Liz Parker."

***

Maria knocked loudly on the door, the tone echoing a sense of certainty that the petite blond did not feel. In an instant, he answered, his expression making it seem as if he expected her. Stepping aside and ignoring the vague sense of deja vu, Michael ushered her into the apartment. 

"I thought that you could tell Max we found—"

"He knows," Michael said, interrupting. "He knew the minute you found her."

Maria cast her eyes away from him. "I guess that's what love is," she commented bitterly. "Look, I know you don't want me here, so I'll go."

She had her hand on the doorknob, when Michael finally found his voice again and called out to her. "Maria, wait." Maria didn't turn around, but she didn't open the door either, so Michael took that as a silent sign to continue. "Don't you even want to know what happened yesterday?"

Maria whirled to face him. "At the pod chamber? Whatever made Liz so distraught that she ran out into the desert? Michael, she was nearly catatonic when we found her… Alex had to carry her back to the car, but did you even bother to ask how she's doing? No! And so now you want me to care about your day?" She took a breath to calm down. "I don't have to ask… I already know what happened out there."

"She told you?"

"She didn't have to, I knew. Discovered your destiny, huh? Congratulations!" Maria said in mock sincerity. "Let me guess—it doesn't involve me?" Michael was silent. "Wonderful. I can't believe that you're going to throw away all that we've been through together, because of a stupid destiny. I *LOVE* you, Michael. I want you to know that mainly because you didn't let me respond in the UFO Center yesterday. No, you just busted a classic 'Michael Move' and ran away. But I do… I love you, and even after all this, I still want to be with you."

"It's not—"

"Safe? Yeah, so I've heard. Possible? Why? Because you're *supposed* to be with Isabel? Come on, Michael---this is the girl that you've thought of as a sister for the past ten years. Can you change that? Do you love her?"

"Yes," he said softly. 

Maria paled a bit. "Are you 'in love' with her?"

He paused, pursing his lips in thought. "No, I'm not. I should be. She's not my sister, and she's more than just my 'mate', Maria. On our planet, we were engaged to be married."

"If you *think* she's your sister, she's your sister. Go with it, Michael, it works. Destiny, schmestiny."

"It's not that easy, Maria!!" 

"Yes. It. Is. I think Liz said it best, 'You are who *you* chose to be, just like you're with who *you* chose to be with'. You told me that you loved me… you've never said that to anyone before, have you?"

"No," he shook his head, unable to meet her probing eyes.

"Then why did you say it to me?"

"Because I do… love you, that is."

"But..."

"But like you said. It's not safe or possible. There's something out there, Maria… something much bigger than me, and what I want. Something that has made me kill one man, and more likely than not, many more. And if I don't destroy them, eventually they'll come after me, to do away with me and anyone with me."

"Just tell me, Michael… do you want to be with me? The truth—how you feel, not what everyone has been telling you. Beyond the grand scheme of the universe there's a base feeling that I know you feel. What does that truth tell you?"

//The truth… wow. // Michael thought. //Whoever said the truth shall set you free obviously never had to tell the truth before. The truth doesn't set people free. The only truth leads to pain, anger, suffering, fear… and we all know that stuff leads to the Dark Side. // He could only look at the girl in front of him, the one who he loved more than anything, the one who made him human, and he had nothing to say.

"I think it's fair to warn you that I'm not Liz, Michael."

Her voice broke the alien out of his thoughts. "Yeah, I know that," he said, a confused expression crossing his face. "Uh, what does that mean?"

"I'm not *not* going to stand in the way of your destiny. I think you need me, more than you'll ever let yourself admit it. So… I'll be around. When you decide what it is you really want, I hope then that it's still the same as what I want now." Maria turned to leave, but then faced him again, snaking one arm around the back of his head pulling him into a passionate kiss. A kiss that took Michael in complete surprise. "Didn't want you to forget, Space Boy."

And with an elated grin on her face, Maria exited the apartment.


	3. The Pain of 'What If?'

Title: Destiny or Desire: Part Two

Author: Maea MacDermod

Email: maeve_aislinn@yahoo.com; feedback is like a drug to me! Please, feed the monkey!

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone… not even myself!! Please don't sue me…

Spoilers: Everything before and including Destiny is fair game. 

Summary: Just like the rest of the fic writers, this story involves what takes place (directly) after Destiny.

Category: Throughout the series, all couples will be addressed. This part involves Max/ Liz.

Author's Notes: As I write them, this will be a multi-part series fic involving what happens to everyone after the season finale. 

  
Songs included in this segment are (in order of use):

I Fall To Pieces, Patsy Cline; 

From the Bottom of my Broken Heart, Brittany Spears; 

and Leave, Matchbox Twenty.

****

Destiny or Desire: Part Two

*****

"Our destiny changes with our thought; we shall become what we wish to become, do what we wish to do, when our habitual thought corresponds with our desire." 

~Orison Swett Marden

****

Liz was numb, empty. She had felt the strange nothingness in her soul constantly since she ran away from Max that day. Running from him was the hardest thing she'd ever had to do.

__

I fall to pieces

Each time I see you again

I fall to pieces

How can I be just your friend

You want me to act like we've never kissed

You want me to forget, pretend we've never met

And I've tried and I've tried but I haven't yet

You walk by, and I fall to pieces

I fall to pieces

Each time someone speaks your name

I fall to pieces

Time only adds to the flame

The music droned on, but Liz didn't even really hear it. In her head, the events of the last forty-eight hours played over and over again. The flashes of torture that Max experienced, the things he said to her in the overturned bus, the vision of his mother telling them of their pasts. All of it, and there was no stopping the playback. 

The details of the past six hours were not as sharp in her mind. She vaguely recalled Alex and Maria finding her in the desert. Alex carrying her all the way back to the car. Her mother fussing over her when they got her home. Valenti lying to her parents, explaining how the teens got lost on a hike in the desert. Maria sitting next to her in her room, trying to get her to talk, eat, drink, anything. But she laid there in silence, ignoring all those around her, and they all left, one by one, until Maria finally put the tape in the stereo, turned it on and went away. And still the events replayed themselves.

That was, until new events occurred.

With her face turned away, she heard the click of the doorknob turning and the gentle swish of the door opening, but at first dismissed them as Maria returning to check on her. Then she felt it… she felt him. 

Max cleared his throat. "Liz?" he asked softly, knowing that she was not asleep as she was pretending. "Your mom let me in. Please… I need to talk to you." No response, no movement. "Fine, then I just need you to listen. 

"This is wrong. I know it. I know that this is not the way it's supposed to be, I feel it in every fiber of my being. What that alien… my mother… told us today, was the destiny of someone else. A destiny that was conceived a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. That's not me. And while I may have some part of the alien that she spoke of in me, he had no part of me in him. This body is all new, all human. This heart is all mine… and in it there is no room for the love another creature had for his wife. Destinies change, Liz… with time, with distance. Those people had no clue how we would turn out on this planet with human bodies and human hearts…" he trailed off, not knowing what to say anymore.

"I—" Liz began, her voice raspy.

"What?" he asked hopeful.

"I want you to go away. It hurts too much, Max. I need some time to forget you, and it's hard with you standing in my room."

Max's heart sank. He could barely stand to breathe, knowing that she really did want no part of him. "I remember when I broke up with you after Michael was sick… it was pure torture not to be with you Liz, to have you look at me the way you did. That memory has scared me more than anything Pierce did. Please don't make me be the one casting longing glances at you from across the room."

Max crossed the room and stood next to the stereo, realizing what was wrong with the songs that were playing.

__

From the bottom of my broken heart 

There's just a thing or two I'd like you to know 

You were my first love, you were my true love 

From the first kisses to the very last rose 

From the bottom of my broken heart 

Even though time may find me somebody new 

You were my real love, I never knew love 

'Til there was you

From the bottom of my broken heart

As the chorus of the latest song ended, Max put his hand on the cool plastic casing of the stereo. "You're doing this all wrong, Liz. This," he said, motioning to the speakers, "makes it seem like I broke up with you. I have no choice in this, Liz. I *want* to stay with you, but you keep pushing me away. You should be listening to something else." Waving his hand over the cassette deck, the music changed to Matchbox Twenty's 'Leave'. He crossed the room and climbed out the window to the balcony.

__

It's amazing

how you make your face just like a wall

how you take your heart and turn it off

how I turn my head and lose it all

It's unnerving

how just one move puts me by myself

there you go just trusting someone else

now I know I put us both through hell

I'm not saying

there wasn't nothing wrong

I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me

I'm not saying

we ever had the right to hold on

I just didn't wanna let it get away from me

But if that's how it's gonna leave

straight out from underneath

then we'll see who's sorry now

If that's how it's gonna stand, when

you know you've been depending on

the one you're leaving now

the one you're leaving out

She listened for a moment, letting the lyrics sink in… then Liz followed him out the window, the numbness that she was feeling now replaced with anger. 

"You have no right to assume that my pain is not real, Max Evans!"

He turned, happy that she followed, happy that she acknowledged him, but upset with himself that he hurt her. "I never said that it wasn't, Liz."

"So what happens, Max? What happens when… if… for the millionth time I decide that with you to follow my heart instead of my head? Is this going to be like the time you got drunk and I believed every word that you said to me? I mean, are you just going to sober up and realize that this is all wrong and that you belong with Tess? I don't know if I can handle that again."

She studied her hands, searching for the right words to say. "Am I supposed to sit back and wait for you to decide whether or not you should give in to destiny or desire?"

"Do you see that I already have. I've been telling you that for as long as I can remember. I choose you. I choose desire."

"So what happens if I decide to follow my heart—again. We'll live happily ever after, like you always talk about? I don't think so. Sure, maybe we'll be happy for a while, but sooner or later your real destiny is going to bear down upon you again and I don't think that I can compete with that. I *know* I can't compete with that. You have to know that you have a whole life out there. A life that one day will not include me — a whole greater plan that will not include me. I'm willing to sacrifice the few years of happiness that I may have with you, if it means saving me a broken heart later on."

"Oh so now you alone get to decide our destinies? What crap is that? And you guys called me controlling… at least I have a reason. It's the way I was engineered. What's your excuse?" Liz was silent. "You'd do all this to save yourself a broken heart? Is that not what you're feeling right now, because that's what I feel. My heart is in a thousand pieces at your feet, Liz. If you decide to keep things the way they are with us, that's where my heart will stay.

Liz's voice softened, some of the anger she felt ebbing away. "Max, what if I do change my mind and years from now you decide that you and Tess were meant to be together, and that's how it has to be."

"Not going to happen."

She continued on. "What if you learn the weaknesses of your enemies and you go back to your home planet, leaving me alone. Or what if in the future, we do what any happy couple does… get married and have kids. You might leave me and our children and I couldn't handle that."

"I don't doubt that you could sit here and name to me every single 'what if' scenario. What if Nasedo gets discovered and the FBI sends a new alien hunting squad after me tomorrow? What if I catch some exotic alien-human disease and die three months from now? What if, what if, what if? There are a hundred thousand what ifs, but the only one that matters to me is: What if I have to live my life with out you?"

She turned to him tearfully, "I guess we'll see." Liz bowed her head and started to crawl back into her bedroom.

Max called out to her, making her stop. "When I told you that I loved you, Liz, I meant it."

"So did I."

"Then why can't we be together? Why are you pushing me away?"

Liz jumped down from the windowsill, charging up to him. "Get off it, Max! Okay? This isn't some romantic teen angst show on the WB. I'm not Joey; you're not Dawson and just because we said we loved each other doesn't mean that we're meant to be together. If anything, I'm Jen… the bimbo distraction that's keeping you away from your true Joey, that just happens to be Tess. We're too different and we're not supposed to be. That's not how it's going to be. If you can't see that then I guess that I have to—for the both of us." She let out a shaky breath. "Saying 'I Love You' doesn't make everything all right. It doesn't change your destiny."

"But it's how I feel."

"I can't ever compete with what you had with Tess. I can't."

"You don't have to, because what I *had* with Tess can't ever compare with what I *have* with you." Max took advantage of their closeness and reached out to connect with her. 

It was just like the first time in the CrashDown when he let her look into his soul. Every bit of what he was feeling poured into Liz. Everything he felt, she felt… everything he knew, she knew.

She pulled away from him; her breath coming out in ragged sobs and her voice was shaky. "Don't do that!"

"I just wanted to—"

"I know what you wanted to do. You wanted to show me how you feel, but you don't have to, Max. You don't have to because I know how you feel, because *I* feel it too. This isn't easy for me! I don't know why you think it is. I feel the pain of my own heart breaking, I don't need to know what you're going through, too."

"I'm not going to give up, Liz. I'm going to be here for a long time. I will wait for you."

//Don't// she thought to herself, wanting to say it out loud. She stopped herself by biting her tongue. Liz turned away from him to crawl in through the window, but before she reached it, she spoke softly, tasting the blood on her teeth. "How long?"

He smiled at her back. "Forever. For as long as it takes, I'll be waiting for you."


	4. Screw Destiny

Title: Destiny or Desire: Part Three

Author: Maea MacDermod

Email: maeve_aislinn@yahoo.com; feedback is like a drug to me! Please, feed the monkey!

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Go ahead… sue me. All I have is a soul mate and a 6 year old daughter with the penchant for calling me "Hoochie Mama"… not too much to bargain with.

Spoilers: Everything before and including Destiny is fair game. 

Summary: Just like the rest of the fic writers, this story involves what takes place (directly) after Destiny.

Category: Throughout the series, all couples will be addressed. This part involves Alex/Iz, with commentary between Maria/Max about their respective loves.

Author's Notes: As I write them, this will be a multi-part series fic involving what happens to everyone after the season finale. 

****

Destiny or Desire: Part Three

*****

"Our destiny changes with our thought; we shall become what we wish to become, do what we wish to do, when our habitual thought corresponds with our desire." 

~Orison Swett Marden

****

For the second time in his life, Alex Charles Whitman awoke to the beautiful Isabel Evans knocking on his front door.

"Hey," he said, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

"Hey. Can we take a walk?"

Alex glanced down at his flannel pajama bottoms and old gym shirt. "Uh, yeah. Just let me get some shoes." He ran inside, splashed some water on his face, quickly brushed his teeth and threw on his sneakers. The teen was back outside in less than two minutes.

"I'm glad you didn't change, Alex."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I like you this way." She took his hand tenderly and led him down the sidewalk. "Did your parents believe the story Valenti fed them?"

"It seems so. Yours?"

"Yep. It's good to have him on our side now."

They walked a bit farther in an uncomfortable silence. "What's going on, Iz?"

"Why? Can't I want to just be with you? Quietly, no questions asked?"

Alex led her into Devou Park, pulling her under a large oak tree. "It's not usually your way, that's all. Do you want to talk about what's really going on?"

She sat down on the dirt ground. "I don't know." Isabel sighed, feeling helpless. "Liz was there, Alex… and Maria told Michael that she already know, so I have to be the one to explain the whole story, and I hate it. Max and Michael didn't have to give any explanations, but I do, and I don't know what to say to you."

Alex sat down next to her, leaning back into the large tree trunk. "Just tell me the truth. That's all I ask of you."

And she did. Isabel laid it all out to him, showing him the book Tess got from the library. Healing Nasedo, sending him off to be Pierce, using the communicator, the message from her mother. Even the truth about their past lives and why they were there. Everything. Alex sat in silence, taking it all in. 

"Alex… please say something." 

He realized that she had stopped talking several minutes before, and he was stuck in a daze. "And now you're stuck here trying to figure who to chose… how to break my heart easy so that you can follow your destiny?"

"NO! That's not it."

"It's okay, Isabel… I know what I have to do, just like you know what you have to do. These are your people that you're talking about. I'll step out of the way so that you can go on guilt free."

"Don't you dare—"

"What do you expect me to do? Hang on like a pathetic little puppy dog? Pal around with you until you realize that we could never be? Sure, that will help the sting of a broken heart," he said, trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice, but failing miserably.

"It's not fair! I have this predestined book," she said snatching the book from his hands and tossing it a few yards from them, "telling me one thing and this human heart telling me another. I don't know which one to trust. Alex, I care about you… probably more than you'll ever know… and I'm sorry that you're caught in the middle of this all, but just think about how I feel. I just had my whole life laid out to me, and I still have more questions than anything. I don't know what to do, who to be with, where to go for more answers. I don't know anything. So I really just need you to bear with me, please."

Alex sighed, and crawled to the place where the alien book landed. He stared at it for a moment, wondering if he could 'will' it away. No luck. "I'm sorry…"

"Alex. No. Don't you do this. Please, don't do this," Isabel felt tears spring to her eyes as she grabbed onto him. "Don't leave me without giving me the chance—"

He stepped into her embrace. "Isabel, calm down. Isabel… I was going to say that I was sorry you had to go through all this, and that I want to be there for you… just please, don't break my heart. That's all I ask."

"Oh," she said softly, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Okay."

They laughed, hugging under the tree. Their tree.

****

"Max?" Maria questioned, surprised to see the dark-haired alien at her door. "What's wrong?"

He blinked. "Huh? Uh, nothing. I thought it was time to go get your car off the side of the road."

"Oh. Cool, let me get a jacket." She returned a second later with a light jacket and they climbed in to the jeep. 

The two drove in silence for a few miles on the way out of town, when Maria suddenly turned towards Max. "So… how's the wife?" He glared at her, obviously not amused. "Sorry. I just don't know how to talk to you anymore. My God, you're the leader of an entire race. What should I say?"

"I'm the same guy I was before… just be yourself, Maria." Max's expression softened. "I still want the same things. I still want Liz."

"I know. Hell, she knows. Give her some time, Max. We all need to deal with this destiny mumbo-jumbo before we make our next move."

He sighed, a sigh that held the weight of the world in that one exhale of breath. "Michael… needs this destiny. It's giving him a direction that he's been searching for, for such a long time."

"No," Maria shook her head, refusing to listen to the other teen. "Michael needs me. He's too stubborn to admit it now, but he knows it just as much as I do."

A satisfied smile crossed Max's lips, causing Maria to frown, concerned. "What?"

Glancing at her from the corner of his eyes, Max chuckled. "I'm glad you said that. I'm glad that you're willing to fight for what you want." He pulled the jeep off to the side of the road, behind the red Jetta. "I expected nothing less from you, Maria, and I'm glad you lived up to my expectations."

They both jumped out of the car. "So that was a test?? You wanted to check my good intentions?" A squeal escaped from her throat as she finally saw her car, cutting off any response from Max. "Oh Lordy… what in the world am I going to tell my mom. She is so going to kill me for this."

"It's okay—"

"Oh, no, this is not okay. This is about as far away from okay as one can get. I mean, Valenti told her that the car broke down on the highway after our hike through the desert, not that a bunch of FeeBee's shot it up to make it look like Swiss cheese."

He reached out and took hold of the blonde's wrist, sending calming power into her body. "It will be okay, Maria. Trust me." 

Maria's expression turned from one of horror to a goofy grin. "Wow. You need to teach that to Michael."

"Yeah? Feel good?" She nodded. "Glad I could help. Now," he dropped her arm, "for the reason why I'm here…"

Max moved over so that he could touch the car, his back to Maria. At first contact, he received a rush of images from the last night he and Liz were in the car. Escaping from the military base, running from Pierce's men, the shots, Liz's terrified screams. The emotions were so powerful that he almost dropped to his knees.

"Max? You okay?"

He pushed the flashes away, concentrating on the task at hand. "Yeah, I'm just peachy. Keep watch, Maria. Make sure that no one comes close to us when I'm doing this."

"Sure," she replied, the concern still echoing in her voice.

The power started to pulse under his hands as Max's breathing slowed and became shallow. Soon his hands glowed so brightly that his skin seemed translucent and his bones appeared. Max concentrated on the molecules of the metal and glass of the car, nudging them back to their original, pre-bullet places, and within a few short minutes, Maria's Jetta was back to it's old self.

"Wow," Maria marveled at the extent of Max's abilities. "That's amazing." She walked around the car and inspected the repaired exterior. "Crap!"

"What?" Max rushed to her side, near the back passenger side door. "Did I miss something?"

"Nope… you were just too good. There was a dent here that my mother put on the car last month. You fixed it." The pixie blonde backed away from the car a bit then lashed out with her best Tae-Bo kick. The result was a small dent, identical to the one that was there before.

Max grinned. "Nice." 

"Okay, we should get back to town. I have work in an hour."

They both moved towards their respective cars, and before Maria climbed into hers, Max called out. "Maria… He will come around. Give him time!"

She studied her keys a moment, then looked back to him. "Thank you, Max. For everything."

"I should be thanking you," he said simply, then pulled out onto the road to Roswell. Maria followed. Two people, two friends, on the way back to screw with destiny.


	5. Different Lives, Different Faces (A Nase...

Title: Destiny or Desire: Part Four

Author: Maea MacDermod

Email: maeve_aislinn@yahoo.com; feedback is like a drug to me! Please, feed the monkey!

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Go ahead… sue me. All I have is a soul mate and a 6 year old daughter with the penchant for calling me "Hoochie Mama"… not too much to bargain with.

Spoilers: Everything before and including Destiny is fair game. There's a tiny spoiler for Skin and Bones in this one.

Summary: Just like the rest of the fic writers, this story involves what takes place (directly) after Destiny.

Category: Throughout the series, all couples will be addressed. This is a Nasedo interlude.

Author's Notes: As I write them, this will be a multi-part series fic involving what happens to everyone after the season finale. 

****

Destiny or Desire: Part Four

*****

"Our destiny changes with our thought; we shall become what we wish to become, do what we wish to do, when our habitual thought corresponds with our desire." 

~Orison Swett Marden

****

"Agent Pierce?"

Nasedo looked up from the paperwork that he was studying at 'Pierce's' desk. "Yes, Agent?"

"She's here, sir. The quarantine guards just deposited her into Containment Room six."

The alien's face was smooth like glass, showing no hint that he had absolutely no idea what the human agent was referring to. "Excellent. I'll get to her later." The other man didn't leave. "Something else, Agent Matthews?"

Jesse Matthews hesitated, then spoke. "I just wanted to say that we're all sorry the leads in Roswell didn't pan out, sir."

Nasedo cracked a smile, "Yes, well, those in charge of the information inaccuracies have been identified and taken care of. Make sure that you let everyone know that. I find it reduces mistakes in the future, when everyone knows the penalty for failure."

"Yes, sir, Agent Pierce." Matthews swallowed hard, and backed out of the room.

Pierce-sado finished reading the file on Specimen 0002, the alien that escaped from the Eagle Rock Military base in 1947. Basically the report was about him, and he found great pleasure in reading how he baffled the incompetent guards back then. Putting the folder back into the metal cabinet, he stood and left his office to get to Containment Room six. 

Nasedo entered the outer observation room, dismissing the two guards so that he could figure out who this woman was. Whoever she was, her appearance was of a brunette, middle aged human female, slightly disheveled, and her voice was panicky. 

"Hello? Is anyone out there?" she banged on the two-way mirror-wall. The cell she was being kept in was identical in every way to the one that he had been held in 53 years ago, and the one from which they rescued Max. The White Room. "I know someone is there! I can feel you."

Something about this woman was vaguely familiar to Nasedo, but he pushed the human sense of deja vu away. She continued to rant, "I was promised that if I cooperated with your agency that I would never be placed in a White Room again. Please!"

This intrigued him, so he leaned over to speak into the intercom. "Who would tell you something like that?"

The woman looked around nervously. "I knew someone was out there! It was Sam Lewis. "

"Oh, see that's your problem. Agent Lewis died in 1962." Testing out a theory, Nasedo continued. "One of your kind killed him."

"That's impossible. I'm alone here… there were no others that survived the crash." She paused, "You're Pierce, aren't you. You brought me here to this hell, and now you're too chicken to speak to me in person. I can understand you fear the information that I told you last time that we spoke, but I swear that it is all the truth. I can tell you things about yourself that none of the people who raised you even knew." Nasedo was silent. "I named you, you know. They allowed me to do that before you were taken from me. I named you after my one true love." The hidden door on the far side of the room opened, revealing Nasedo, visibly frazzled, while the female talked on. "His name was Eton."

"They got it wrong."

She spun to face him, "What?"

"They got the name wrong. They named him Ethan. Ethan Daniel Pierce. I guess they felt the need to humanize it."

The woman narrowed her dark eyes at him; suspiciously, "Who are you? You're not Pierce… you may have his appearance…"

"You know who I am, Serai," he took her arm and transmitted visions of the past to her.

"Eton? They told me that there were no other survivors… how can this be?"

Nasedo smirked, "And you never doubted the humans would lie to you. Amazing that you still have your innocence after all which we have been through. I was captured, but managed to escape from the compound in New Mexico. I've lived a life of running from these people while you have been consorting with the enemy."

"I have done only what has been necessary to facilitate my survival on this planet."

"Survival, Serai? And tell me… who is this man to you?" he asked, motioning to his body form.

The alien female paled. "He is my… my… son."

Nasedo didn't know what he expected her to say, but it wasn't that. "What?!?"

"In 1948, Sam Lewis offered me a choice. Procreate with a human male and bear a child that offered a reward of isolated freedom or die on the operating table so the scientists could see how I tick. I choose the former."

"Impossible. Our alien anatomy is not compatible with theirs. Mating is not an option."

"Our physiology is more adaptable than you could ever imagine, but you are correct. I was unable to conceive. By 1950, Sam told me he could no longer protect me, and I was scheduled for termination. Finally for fear of my life, I created an incubation pod and…"

"Pierce was born."

"With the crude technology I had to work with, his incubation was short, only twenty years. He emerged from the pod as a human baby."

"Pierce said that you were kept in captivity only three years. We assumed…"

"After the pod was constructed and the child growing, I was 'freed' into isolation. Sam told me he erased all evidence of where I was. Only he knew, and I trusted him… until Pierce found my file. He confronted me about a month ago.

"There was so much anger and hate in my child, but I could sense he had no power. The humans, who assured me that I would be set free, also informed me I would be able to raise the hybrid child. I engineered him so that without my guidance, he would have nothing extraordinary about him. Pierce had no clue that there was anything different about him." She paused, "You spoke of 'we' before. The others are out there? Ismaei and Temmel?"

Nasedo shook his head, "Both died in the crash."

"Who then? The Mother wouldn't have risked another team…"

"Our leader and his family."

"Xann Adis? But how? The ship malfunctioned, we were unable to…"

"Not malfunctioned, sabotaged, Serai. Someone didn't want us to survive the trip to this planet… but we did, and so did they. I was able to release the pods before impact. The unit burrowed into a nearby mountain, keeping the leader from harm."

Excitement shone in Serai's eyes. "And are they as I imagined them to be?"

"Yes, you have always been a masterful artist… they are perfect."

"You have raised them all this time, alone?"

"No," he said. "The pods of Adis, Rakeran, and Asimi released early. They were gone when I went back to the chamber to retrieve them… Taras was there alone. I raised her, the others were brought up by humans."

"The memory transfer was successful?"

"Not completely. The early release of the three caused much of the transfer to be lost… Taras has some memories, but they are incomplete as well. It has been a hard ten years trying to find the Xann and the others, but now the real challenges begin. They have used the orbs, Serai… our enemies now know that they are truly here."

"And you… why are you here in the Special Unit? How are you able to be the leader if Pierce is still out there?"

"He's dead."

Tears streaked down the woman's cheeks, "No…"

Nasedo raised her chin to stare into his companion's eyes. "Human emotion does not fit you, Serai. As you said, he was anger filled… and that made him dangerous."

She pulled away. "No, Eton… he could have been changed into an ally. Somewhere inside of him, I sensed the need for him to belong. He just needed direction."

"He found his direction in torturing Adis in a room just like this one. Pierce would have killed our people's only hope for freedom, to feed his hate for those not so different from him… his brother, almost. He was an animal… he deserved to die."

"The stones… we could bring him back… then he would be on our side, Eton."

"Not possible…"

She continued on, oblivious to his comments. "Don't you see, he is like Adis and the others. He has the same energies in him, and could be helped by the stones…"

Nasedo grabbed her arm roughly, "I said it wasn't possible! We destroyed the body… your child is gone!"

Slumping against the wall, Serai slid to a sitting position on the floor. "This planet has changed you. There was a time when you would never have talked this way to anyone, let alone me. I don't know who you are anymore. I loved you."

His lips twisted into a derisive grin, "Another of your precious human emotions… Love. Those emotions make you weak, just as it does the humans. Don't sit there and play the wounded victim, my wife. Do you forget that it was *you* who insisted that we volunteer for this mission? I was more than happy to be a guard for the besieged palace on our world. You could have continued to do your art in the sanctuary of our own home, but no. You just had to see how your creations would turn out."

"I was the best choice, Eton. I had the most education on the humans. I should have raised the children, as opposed to you. You've never liked the thought of these aliens, and I know that the fact Xann Adis is now a hybrid disgusts you—"

"Max."

"What?"

"His name is Max now. Max Evans. Rakeran is Michael Guerin, and his betrothed, Asimi is Isabel Evans."

"And Taras?"

"I have named her Tess. It seemed a good humanization of her true name." He reached out to help the woman to her feet, his demeanor softening. "It went all wrong, Serai. They knew nothing of their destiny or their people's peril. Max's true nature was almost discovered about nine months ago when his love for a human girl caused him to use his ability to heal in public. Pierce captured him a week ago and tortured him for information until the others rescued him. Rakeran… Michael killed him in the process of protecting his friend from harm. 

"Max has no recollection of his marriage or 'love' for Tess… he is very much human. All of them, save Tess, have found new desires in the humans surrounding them. I fear for our people. I fear that Max will continue to follow his heart with this Liz, and leave our people to die."

"Fear, Eton. Isn't that a human emotion?"

"I suppose it is."

"I know our great leader shall do what he knows to be necessary to balance out who he is and what he wants. I have faith in his decisions to follow this new human heart of his."

Nasedo paced a few steps away. "What *we*," he said motioning to the two of them, "have to worry about is getting you out of here."

"No."

He was shocked. "What? How can you say no?"

"I am no use to you anymore, Eton, or the leader. I wish to be sent back into my isolation."

"Unacceptable."

"If you deny me this, I shall tell the humans who you really are."

A flash of anger entered his eyes, but was quickly replaced with a sense of desperation. "I need you, Serai. I need you to stand by my side on this planet just as you did so many times on our home world. You have to fight with us; it's in you. There is no escaping who you are. You can sit around in your prison cell of isolation, but there is no escaping the reality of what is happening to your people… your sister, your friends. We all need you now."

She smiled. "You have always have has the gift of a silver tongue, my husband. Adis was wise to value your ability to inspirit the troops to loyalty. Do you have a strategy in mind on how to get me out of this?"

"I believe I do. This will also give me the opportunity to 'weed out' some agents that know too much. You will be scheduled to return to your home in two days time. The plan shall occur then."

"Understood."

Nasedo moved towards the door, but she stopped him. "Eton… does Taras have the memories of what happened?"

"No. The scientists were obviously able to remove all trace of that transgression." Serai breathed a sigh of relief, and Nasedo walked to her again. "I *have* missed you all these years."

The woman raised her hand into the air and he matched his fingers with hers. Moments later both their hands began to glow, the human skin becoming translucent and the alien skeleton showed. The oxygen in the white room was humming, it was so electrically charged… and Serai giggled. 

"Miss? Isn't that a human emotion?"

****


	6. Why Is It So Hard to Move On?

Title: Destiny or Desire: Part Five

Author: Maea MacDermod

Email: maeve_aislinn@yahoo.com; feedback is like a drug to me! Please, feed the monkey!

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Go ahead… sue me. All I have is a soul mate and a 6 year old daughter with the penchant for calling me "Hoochie Mama"… not too much to bargain with.

Spoilers: Everything before and including Destiny is fair game. 

Summary: Just like the rest of the fic writers, this story involves what takes place (directly) after Destiny.

Category: Throughout the series, all couples will be addressed. 

Author's Notes: As I write them, this will be a multi-part series fic involving what happens to everyone after the season finale. 

****

Destiny or Desire: Part Five

*****

"Our destiny changes with our thought; we shall become what we wish to become, do what we wish to do, when our habitual thought corresponds with our desire." 

~Orison Swett Marden

****

Michael quickly crossed the quad, rushing to avoid Maria by the gym, when an unfamiliar voice called out behind him.

"Hey bro — wait up!" Uncertain if the guy was talking to him, Michael hurried on. He had been successful in evading Maria at school for three days in a row, and didn't want to break the streak. "Hey! Guerin?" Michael turned, suspiciously. "Michael Guerin, right?"

He narrowed his eyes at the dark haired human teen, "Yeah. What do you want?"

"I heard a rumor that you broke up with Maria DeLuca. True or false?"

"How did… who told you that?"

"Rumor mill. In Roswell, it's faster than Western Union."

"Who are you?" Michael asked.

"Nicky Huitt." He held out his hand, but the alien ignored it. "Lead guitar for the Whits… the band she sings in…" Michael said nothing. "Well, uh… the rumor. Yay or nay?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Come on! Maria is a hottie. If you let her go, then I want my chance," Nicky said, with a broad smile.

"Well then… I guess today's your lucky day. She's all yours. Best of luck to you." Michael ran off to his next class, the bitter scowl on his face, which only made the other boy look so much happier.

***

Later that afternoon, the Whits all gathered at Alex's garage for band practice. Before they started, Alex set his guitar down and picked up a piece of paper.

"We've got a gig."

"What?!?" the others said in unison. "Awesome!"

"Steffy Siegla's seventeenth birthday party two weeks from this Saturday. It pays five hundred bucks."

"That's great, Alex!" Maria exclaimed. He didn't seem as excited as the rest of them. "That's not great? Why is that not great?"

"Well… to quote Steffy," he tossed imaginary long hair over his shoulder and rolled his eyes comically, "'But I don't want to listen to all your self-depreciating angsty love songs all night.'" He dropped the fake southern drawl and slipped back into Alex. "She wants us to play a ton of covers…"

Nicky piped in. "That's okay. Dee's really good at those."

"… of Brittany Spears songs."

The guys groaned. "You've got to be kidding me, Alex," said Markos.

"Nope." He set the contract on the tool chest for the others to study. "So the question is: Is five hundred dollars enough money to sell our souls for?"

Maria scowled. "I should have known that Steffy was a Brittany Spears fan… ugh, that no talent hack. Christina Aguilera is the real way to go. But, come on guys. This *is* five hundred dollars we're talking about here… that's one hundred a piece. With that you guys could buy some real clothes," she joked.

Nicky nodded. "I'm with DeLuca… except for the part about the clothes and Christina Aguilera – she's right."

She punched the guitarist playfully on the arm and picked up the contract. "I mean, look – it's not all Brittany Spears songs. There's a Filter song on this list, Three Doors Down, Dave Matthews Band, Vertical Horizon." Maria read on, rambling off the band names. "Does she realize that the singer of this band is a chick?"

"Fine. I'm in," agreed Markos.

"Me too," Alex and Chris said in unison.

Nick grinned. "You know my vote."

Maria dropped the contract, which fluttered a short distance away in the wind. One of the boys, she wasn't sure which one, ran after it to retrieve it.

"Are you okay, Dee?" Nicky asked concerned, using the nickname that only he took to calling her.

//You know my vote// she repeated in her head. Michael said that just a few weeks ago when they were discussing meeting with Topolsky.

"Dee? DeLuca – Hey Maria?" The lead guitarist was standing in front of her, snapping his fingers to get her attention.

"Yeah?"

Alex looked on, his face full of anxiety, "You okay, Maria?"

She sighed. "Yeah, yeah… I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You just kind of fazed out there. Had us worried for a sec."

"Oh. I'm just tired, um, and I could probably use some food. Low blood sugar and all."

"You sure?" he asked, skeptically.

The blonde nodded. "Yeah. I'll just get some dinner after practice and I'll be fine."

Nicky stepped to the side, picking up his instrument. "I could use a little dinner myself later on… you know, maybe just the two of us – uh, I mean all of us. Big group thing."

"Hmmm, sounds great. Okay, we better get to this. We only have two weeks to work on these songs before I become the faboo Brittany Spears!" She said, with a flourish of her arms. Maria pasted a smile on her face that she hoped would fool the others into thinking she was okay.

"Yeah, marvelous…" Alex passed around the new sheet music and they studied the pages for a moment. "I guess this one is as good as any to start with."

Chris counted off the beats and they all started playing. Maria stepped up to the mike waiting for her cue, then began signing.

"Oops… I did it again—"

*****

Michael was silent most of the night at work, until finally his curiosity got the best of him. When 

Liz arrived at the window for table four's food and he got her attention.

"Hey…"

"Oh, so you do still know how to talk in a normal non 'come-get-this-food-out-of-the-window-before-I-throw-it-at-you' tone," she said, sarcastically.

He frowned. "It's not like you've been Miss Chatty since you ran from the chamber that day."

"Whatever, Michael. Did you want something?"

"Where's your side-kick?"

She turned away, moving towards the customers and called out over her shoulder. "As if you really care, she's at band practice."

//Band practice//, he thought, //with THAT guy// Suddenly Michael regretted everything he said to Nicky Huitt that afternoon on the quad. //WHY? IT'S FOR THE BEST. SHE DESERVES SOMEONE WHO CAN MAKE HER HAPPY//, came the response from the reasonable part of his brain. //Oh shut up! //he thought back at it. 

"Uh hello! Earth to Michael!" Liz's voice brought him back to the sweaty kitchen of the CrashDown. "Do you have that Eclipse Burger for the guy at the bar. He's been waiting like a millennia." She cracked a smile, "His words, not mine."

*****

Band practice wrapped up about ten minutes before, and now they were all sitting around trying to settle on a place to eat.

"Sushi?" offered Markos.

Chris cringed, squeamish at the thought of raw fish. "Uh, no… Tacos?"

"No thanks," Alex was in deep thought. "How 'bout Chinese?"

"Can't deal with all that rice. CrashDown?"

"Please, tell me you're kidding," Maria responded, exasperated at just the mention of her work place. "I got it! The Pizza Pan. It's Wednesday, right?" The guys nodded. "Perfect."

"What happens Wednesdays?" Chris asked.

Maria shot Alex a glare to silence him. "You'll see. Come on… it'll be a blast!" One by one, the boys all submitted. "Yay!" she squealed.

****

The Pizza Pan was nearing packed, with the Whits grabbing the last available table near the stage.

"Karoeke?" exclaimed Markos. "You want us to do Karoeke?"

Maria grinned evilly, but Nicky spoke. "I'm in."

The others all reluctantly followed her to the sign up booth. "Hey Shirley," Maria greeted the owner of the place.

"Miss DeLuca… how nice of you to grace us with your presence. Ever since you started that band of yours, we haven't seen much of you."

Alex stepped forward. "It's *my* band."

"Uh-huh, whatever," the older woman flashed a slightly condescending smile to Alex, then turned to the girl at his side. "Will you honor us with the first song, Maria?"

"Sounds good. Uh, 2756-disc C."

Shirley set the song up to start, "You sing it, girl!"

As the guys stayed behind to look over the songbook, Maria took the stage. The music started with a full-scale run of the key of a piano, and then Maria belted out the first few words. 

__

"At first I was afraid, I was petrified… I kept thinking I could never live without you by my side…"

Nicky was mesmerized with every word she sang. Maria not only sang, she danced around to the beat compelling the audience to have fun.

"Come on, man. Pick a song so we can sit back down."

He blinked, focusing back to the play list. "Uh, I'll do this one," pointing blindly, so that he could return his attention to the blonde beauty on the stage.

"Yeah?" questioned Alex, reading the book over his shoulder.

Chris snickered, "Dude, are you even reading the selections?"

"What? Why?" Nicky grabbed the book from Markos and reread his choice. 'The Right Stuff' by New Kids on the Block. "Uh, okay… gimme 6949 disc B."

"Sounds better." The teens returned to the table just as Maria finished 'I Will Survive' to a rousing applause.

"You were great," Nicky smiled, offering her his water.

She gulped the cool liquid down. "Thanks… that's so sweet," Maria said, breathlessly. The other three boys started making kissey noises at each other, mocking Nick. "Oh grow up!" She swatted at the closest Whit.

They sat through the next two karoekeiers, one of who completely butchered Celine Dion's 'My 

Heart Will Go On'.

"Wow, and to think I *used* to like that song," joked Chris.

"I'd wait to be so criticizing, drum boy, until you get up there yourself," Alex warned, mouthing the words 'tone deaf' to him. "Remember, there's a reason you play loud drums," he laughed.

Shirley took the mike, stopping any retort Chris could have given. "Great! Thanks, Gracie for that lovely rendition of the Titanic theme." She looked at the paper in her hands. "And next up we have Nick Huitt, singing Matchbox Twenty's 'Bent'."

"Whoa… already?" 

Maria nudged him towards the stage. "Knock 'em dead," she whispered. Nicky thought he was going to faint dead away from the combination of singing stage fright and the extreme closeness of the girl he had a huge crush on.

The dark-haired boy rushed to the microphone. The sooner he started, the sooner it'd be over. 

Nervousness crept into his voice as he started the first verse, but one glimpse of Maria pushed it away completely.

__

If I fall along the way

pick me up and dust me off.

and if I get too tired to make it

be my breath so I can walk

Soon all the uneasiness of singing in public was gone and he relaxed enough to enjoy himself.

__

If I need some other love

give me more than I can stand

and when my smile gets old and faded

wait around I'll smile again

shouldn't be so complicated

just hold me and then

just hold me again

He was able to finish the song with confidence and was surprised with a loud applause at the end. When he arrived back at the table, his friends were all smiles.

"That was wonderful, Nicky," Maria gushed.

"Decent… decent. Who would have thought Huitt knew how to sing," Markos said, giving his pal a high five.

"Better watch out, Maria… pretty soon we won't need you anymore!" said Alex.

"I've heard worse," Chris commented, but was interrupted by Shirley announcing the next singer.

"Next, we have Chris Keegan. He'll be performing 'Shimmer' by Fuel."

"I think we're about to hear worse," Nicky dodged a playful punch.

Chris did fairly well, his voice cracking a bit during the song, but he left the stage with most of his dignity intact. After him, a trio of girls from West Roswell High performed 'Wide Open Spaces' by the Dixie Chicks. Maria turned to the others with a glimmer in her eye, but Alex stopped her before she was able to speak.

"No, we're not doing any Dixie Chicks songs."

"Oh, come on… I 'm really good at those!" She called over to Shirley. "Hey, put me down for 

10976 – disc A." The older woman nodded.

"Thank you, Shanna, Michelle and Gina. Now we have a blast to the past with Markos Griffin singing 'Blaze of Glory' by Bon Jovi."

The others looked at him, bemused. "Bon Jovi?"

"Hey don't knock it till you hear it… then you can knock it!!"

Markos stumbled through most of the words as they flashed on the screen, but he wowed the audience with his amazing 'air guitar' solo. He was definitely up there for comic relief. The teen sat back at his table, the other occupants crying because they were laughing so hard. 

"And you sing backup so well," Alex laughed, his sides beginning to ache.

"That's cause I don't have to know *all* the words! Okay, Whitman, moment of truth – you're up!" he replied, as Shirley called out the bandleader's name.

The microphone squealed when Alex picked it up, and he chuckled nervously, sitting on the available stool. "Hope that's not a bad omen." The audience laughed at his lame joke, and then the soft music began.

__

Love, I see forever in your eyes 

I can see heaven in your smile 

And when I hold you close 

I don't want to let go

He sang the 98 degrees song beautifully, the emotion in his voice echoing in every note.

__

Because deep in my soul, I know 

Girl, cause you are the only light I see 

Your love means everything to me 

I know that we will never part 

'Cause you'll always be here, here in my heart

Maria knew that he was thinking about this whole situation with Isabel as he sang, and that just made it even more wonderful.

__

If the sun, should refuse to rise 

And the moon, doesn't hang in the night 

The tides won't change, seasons rearrange 

When the world is through 

I will still love you 

Oh yeah, still love you baby 

And girl, you're like an angel from above 

Sent here to shower me with your love 

Hold me beneath your wings…

As Alex made his way back to the table, she stood to give him a reassuring hug. "She'd be stupid not to choose you, Alex."

"Thanks," he replied softly, his mind wandering to Liz. //We're all up against destiny verses desire. //

"Hey, Al – she's not here… you don't have to suck up now."

"At least I have someone to suck up to, Markos."

"Whoa… we don't need to hear about your bizarre sex life, Whitman. The imagery, my friend, is frightening!" Nicky jumped into the banter after being strangely quite all night.

"Nice of you to join the party, Huitt."

"Now," said Shirley, her voice booming over the microphone, "if we could get the divas at table nine to be quiet, we could move on with Karoeke night."

"Sorry," the boys all mumbled, with Maria watching in amusement at their discomfort of being called out.

"Don't be sorry… be quiet."

The night moved on with a succession of pop, rock and R&B songs sung by the talented, and not so talented, residents and tourists of Roswell. But most of all, it included the Whits having a great time.

"This is so much fun – I really needed it!" Maria smiled, reaching for another piece of pizza. Her hand stopped when she brushed against Nicky, who was also moving towards the last piece of extra cheese. For a moment when they made eye contact, everyone else in the room seemed to disappear and they were all alone… then the connection was broken.

"Oh. Sorry."

"Here, you have it."

"No, please you take it." Maria sweetened her voice up, but when Alex moved in for the piece, she barked at him. "Don't even think about it, Whitman!"

"Whoa – serious."

She pulled the piece onto her plate. "We can share, Nicky."

That sounded like a good plan to him, so he searched around for a knife, but stopped short when Maria took a bite from the slice and passed it to him. "Oh. Okay."

"And to bring back an old Pizza Pan tradition, she who opened the night shall close it. Ladies and Gentlemen, Maria DeLuca."

Maria quickly swallowed the bite in her mouth and took to the stage. Staring down at the table of boys to the right of the mike, she winked at Nicky.

__

I should go out tonight

Get on with my life

Break these chains of solitude

With a little luck and a little help

I might even find myself

In the arms of someone new

Once you've loved somebody

It ain't that easy to do

Once you've loved somebody

Like I loved you

The audience, including the Whits, was spellbound at her rendition of the funk country love song. Nicky, Chris and Markos all looked to Alex, astounded.

__

Look what you've gone and done

You've ruined everything for everyone

Who tries to steal this heart away

I can't get you off of my mind

I've tried to tell myself a million times

A little time is all it takes

"Fine," he said, evading their stares. "It's on the list."

****

Michael was sweaty, smelly and tired as he walked to his apartment after work, but something made him stop and enter the Pizza Pan when he passed it. He tried to shrug it off as the desire to eat something that was not alien-themed, although he knew it was because he sensed Maria in there. Ever since that day at the UFO Center, when he confessed his love to her, Michael had a strange and fairly accurate 'Maria-dar'. He knew where she was most of the time, even if he didn't know where he was.

What the alien teen saw as he situated himself at the back of the room didn't help his already foul mood any. There she was, at the crowded table closest to the stage, laughing and smiling. It had been quite some time since he'd seen her look so happy, long before Topolsky had returned to Roswell.

//She's having a nice time… get over it. // Michael's heart sank when he noticed Maria and Nicky gazing into each other's eyes. //That's the way she used to look at me. // The final twist of the knife in his heart was when the two of them began to share the last piece of pizza. It took all of his human willpower not to get up and bolt right then. Or bash Nicky Huitt's face in… either one wouldn't be good.

The mention of Maria's name over the sound system broke Michael from his thoughts, and his eyes followed her every step to the stage. Just when the boy thought that his heart couldn't possibly get hurt anymore, she sang her soul.

Michael knew her… possibly better than anyone else. He had seen things in her mind that she had never shared with anyone else, things he didn't even tell her that he knew. And with this intimate personal knowledge of the real Maria DeLuca, Michael knew that this wasn't just another song that she chose to sing. This song *was* Maria… and him. This song was the very raw emotion of what he had done to her heart and how his destiny had driven her to another man. The three minutes of his emotional torture finally ended and she returned to her table, to the hoots and hollers of the Whits plus a standing ovation from the crowd. Michael used that opportunity to slip out the door, and run for home.

***

Maria was all smiles and giggles in the passenger seat of Nicky's old Toyota as he drove her home. She alternated humming quietly to herself and singing out loud to the radio, then turned to her companion. "Thanks so much for the ride."

"Not a problem, Dee."

Her smile widened. "I like that. 'Dee'," she repeated. "You're a really great friend, you know."

//Friend. Uh-oh… she said the F-word//, he thought. The signals she was giving earlier, in his opinion, were definitely 'more-than-friend-signals'. //Hmmm… what to say? // "Uh, I really like you, too." //Whoa, where did that come from? // The teen tried to gauge her reaction from the corner of his eye, but her expression didn't change.

"I think that we should do a duet at Steffy's party," she babbled on. "I mean, you were great – there has to be a song on that list we can sing together."

They reached her house and Nick walked her to the door. They stood awkwardly outside the back door for a moment, until he finally broke the deafening silence. "So… uh, I was wondering if you wanted to maybe go outwithmeonFriday," he said in an exhaled rush.

She paled, definitely not expecting him to say anything like that. "Oh."

Nick started to backpedal. "I mean, you know, not a date like, but something different…" but he stopped himself. "Actually I do mean a date. I really like you Maria, and I want to go out with you on a date."

"I really think you're nice and all Nicky, it's just that… well I have this complicated relationship thing with this guy… and well it's really complicated."

"Michael Guerin, right? I know all about it."

"You do? What do you know?"

"You dumped him, right? I mean, why else would he be so willing to let you go."

"Let me go?"

Nick ran his hands through his dark hair. "When I asked him if it was okay if I asked you out. He said yes, and I figured that you dumped him and broke his heart. Uh, he would be a moron to dump you, so I just figured…"

Maria felt nauseous. "I have to go inside now."

He backed away. "I messed this all up, didn't I?"

"No," Maria grabbed his hand. "I'm sorry, it's just me. I wasn't expecting anything like this. I need some time to digest this all…" she opened the door and started to go inside. "I'll call you, Nicky. I swear."

The girl shut the door behind her firmly, and leaned heavily onto it. She took deep breaths, trying so hard not to break down into sobs, as the room began spinning around her… //Oh God, I feel so… so small. How can he do this to me? //

And outside, Nicky didn't know what to do, so he walked back to his car and went home to wait.


End file.
